I am writing this on my phone, using my favorite keyboard.
Despite my lack of certainty, it is time for me to go. I have decided (not without pinch of doubts) to live somewhere closer to my work. I have grown to like my job a bit more than I did since my last entry about it but the fatigue that it brings every day has not diminished. I am hoping that by dramatically reducing my travel time to and from work will allow me to chip away at least some of the fatigue; I must play the long game after all.
I have decided to give my all not just to my career, but to my passion—writing. I lived most of my life trying to chase a dream that I did not cast upon myself. All this time, I wasn’t aware that what I truly seek was already in front of me. People always said I had a knack for writing, but I never really took the idea seriously as I was not one to read a lot of books (aside from encyclopedias which I totally adored.) I was too distracted by the easily attainable satisfaction of video games and anime.
This is it. This is where my past self and the me now, diverges. It’s like moving to a new town, to an old decrepit house—waiting for someone to give it a new life. This house where the old me lived for a long time, ruined, full of clutter and garbage. The sink clogged with grime and the rusty faucet which made cleaning harder, rooms full of dusty science books and old video game disks (I decided to keep the books, the video games had to be thrown away,) the unkempt tattered photographs from the past, the moments trapped in films—which I once thought as my whole life.
This old and barely standing house shall be resurrected. Let this humble abode bring shelter once more. Not just to the new me, but to the people around me. Let it bring warmth and protection. Let it be a place of knowledge and peace. Let the radiance shine upon it and let it be seen. A house that once shooed life away is now saying ‘Welcome Home’.